Today I want to write about the most beautiful chapter of my life, a girl who entered my world so quietly yet changed everything.
She wasn’t ordinary. She was sweet, unbelievably cute, a little possessive though she pretended she wasn’t, deeply caring, short-tempered in the most adorable way, talkative like she could speak forever, and spiritual in a childlike pure manner. She used to argue with Radha and Krishna over silly little things, calling Radha her sister and Krishna her brother in laws. And whenever she talked, I swear, it felt like time stopped. I just wanted to listen to her endlessly. She was that precious. Words are too small to describe her.
In the beginning, I didn’t love her. I just found her different special. Slowly, we started talking daily. And then something inside me changed. I became protective. I felt jealous when she talked to others. And she respected my feelings so innocently. If something bothered me, she would simply say, “Okay, I won’t do it” . That’s how pure she was.
But as my feelings grew, reality also stood in front of me. There was a 7–8 year age gap between us. Still, I knew age wasn’t the real barrier. I believed that if I achieved something meaningful in life, parents and society would accept it. I knew I could give her happiness. I was already on my way there.
But the real issue was something else. She was a student of my sister. My sister used to teach her. And that scared me. If anyone found out, it would create problems for her, and for my sister. So I chose honesty. I told her that I had started feeling for her, but maybe she would never feel the same for me. I thought stepping back would protect my heart and my emotions.
I tried to detach myself. I failed.
I tried again. I failed again.
So one day, I decided to leave Instagram completely. I gave my account to my friend Shweta and told her to deactivate it when the Instagram time limit got removed. But curiosity made my friend message that girl to understand what was actually going on between us.
And then destiny decided to interfere. A few days later at tuition, parents complained that students used Instagram too much. So my sister made everyone log in and deactivate their accounts. When her account was opened, chats were seen linked to my ID. They weren’t directly with me, but with my friend still, they were about me. Everyone was shocked.
And I wasn’t even there to stand beside her to defend her. Yet that girl that beautiful soul didn’t let me fall. Before leaving, she told my sister,
“Please don’t say anything to him. It wasn’t his fault.”
When I found out, my heart broke. Not because of myself, but because she had to face everything alone, I wasn’t there to defend her, I scolded my sisters for making her feel bad. I wanted to talk to her, but her account was deactivated. The next day, somehow, we talked. Things slowly became normal again. We started talking like before. And I felt peaceful again.
Until love completely took over me. I realized I loved her deeply. Not like “girlfriend-boyfriend” love but something pure, lifelong the kind where you think of marriage, future, everything. But she was just 13. She couldn’t understand such heavy emotions yet and that wasn’t her fault.
We spent a little time together on Christmas in tuition. And that day everything became crystal clear. I realized something painful yet beautiful. No matter who she loves in the future, no matter who becomes her partner, I know nobody can love her like I do. Nobody can understand her like I did. Nobody can care, protect, and genuinely love her the way I always would.
I knew I could make her the happiest. Yet I stepped back. Not because I didn’t love her, but because I loved her too much.
I didn’t want to complicate her life. I wanted her to study peacefully, live freely, stay away from unnecessary problems. So we both decided to step back. It shattered me. I knew I was losing the most precious person of my life the purest happiness I ever had. But maybe this was right.
So I left everything in God’s hands.
If destiny wants maybe someday she’ll come back.
If not at least I’ll know I chose what was best for us.
Today I close this chapter not because I want to but because I must.
